The Stories We Tell
Lessons In Being Human; No. 4
At some point we have to make a conscious decision for ourselves, an intentional agreement with ourselves, a commitment to ourselves, to never feel guilty or apologetic about our words, our actions, or our feelings towards others; or to be indebted to anyone else emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Not because we are head-strong and unwise, but because we are vulnerable and tempered by the fires of our hard-learned lessons of past experience and undoing. The reason for this being that we intend always to present our most authentic selves, to never misrepresent ourselves, to speak our truths no matter how unpopular, unconventional, or misunderstood a point of view it might be.
At one point or another you likely remember reaching a plateau where you shouldered the burden of all the excuses you had ever told, all the half truths you had ever spun, the negligence you continued to irresponsibly perpetuate, coupled with the crippling sense of loneliness you felt standing in the middle of a crowded room where it seemed nobody really knew the real you.
But how could they. You had woven a story for them about yourself that positioned you as all knowing, all understanding, above reproach or at the very least justified in almost every action, with every word. You had created the perfect persona, with virtually no flaws, and also completely unbelievable or relatable.
You portrayed to the world the person you wanted to be, but hadn’t been living up to it. You created a person you thought the world wanted to see but were not vulnerable enough to own it. When you fake it for so long you never really learn how to truly make it. Any admission of unknowing is knowingly conceded with an air of pretension. We become stuck in our ways.
The way forward is truth, brutal honest truths we must reckon with ourselves. First, realize that you are not a bad person, you have just been misguided and uninformed. Second, you have done nothing for yourself yet to be deserving of the promises of the prosperous life you so desperately believe that you are entitled to. Third, you may not actually know what your purpose in life is, and people without purpose, cannot be of service or of purpose to others. Lack of purpose breeds doubt, regret, fear, insecurity, and anxiety. It stains your aura, infects your soul, and transfers itself to every other living thing your life touches.
The truth hurts, it shouldn’t but it does, and the more we deny admitting the truths about ourselves to ourselves, learn, heal, and grow, the more we hurt others. The stories that we tell ourselves and others are the very fabric of reality upon which the threads of our lives are woven and worn. A story of no substance, misshapen, thin and bearing many holes cannot provide comfort and warmth, but a story colorful, rich, and multilayered weathers every storm and can be past on.
